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Thursday, May 27, 2004

YO, BUBBA! OR TEX! OR WHATEVER YOUR REDNECK MAMA NAMED YOU! 

This evening I had a flashback to March of 2003. While driving from Colorado to a wedding near San Antonio, we pulled into a gas station in some small town just inside the Texas border. I had some bumper stickers on our car which clearly revealed my position on the then brand-new Iraq invasion ("Attack Iraq? NO!" "EVIL: Killing Children for Oil" and a few others). Some forty-something fat Texan with gray hair, pointy alligator skin boots, fancy blue jeans, a bolo tie and the powdered apearance of a dandy posing as a cowboy mosied up behind me and pointed at my bumper stickers.

"It's a damn good thing yer on yer way outta the state, son," he said.
"Oh no, I just got here," I replied.
"Well yer not welcomed."
"Why's that?"

Again, he pointed at the bumper stickers.

"Where were you when Clinton was bombing the shit outta Kosovo, ya dumb bastard?"
"Have a wonderful day," I said, and headed back to driver's seat.
"You worthless surrender monkeys would rather have Saddam blow us all to hell, wouldn't you?"

I got into my car and drove off.

Despite the way I've spelled and paraphrased his remarks (though I'm pretty sure they're accurate), I got the impression that this man was smarter than he let on. He probably had Rush blaring in the truck even then, I thought.

I wonder what that bozo is thinking now....

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